May I always be subordinate to thee,
be dependent upon thee,
be found in the path where thou dost walk
and where thy Spirit moves,
take heed of estrangement from thee,
of becoming insensible to thy love.
Thou dost not move men like stones,
but dost endue them with life,
not to enable them to move without thee,
but in submission to thee, the first mover.
O Lord, I am astonished at the difference
between my receivings and my deservings,
between the state I am now in and my past gracelessness,
between the heaven I am bound for and the hell I merit.
Who made me to differ, but thee?
for I was no more ready to receive Christ than were others;
I could not have begun to love thee hadst thou not first loved me,
or been willing unless thou hadst first made me so.
O that such a crown should fit the head of such a sinner!
such high advancement be for an unfruitful person!
such joys for so vile a revel!
Infinite wisdom cast the design of salvation
into the mould of purchase and freedom;
Let “wrath deserved” be written on the door of hell,
But “the free gift of grace” on the gate of heaven.
I know that my sufferings are the result of my sinning,
but in heaven both shall cease;
Grant me to attain this haven and be done with sailing,
and may the gales of thy mercy blow me safely into harbour.
Let thy love draw me nearer to thyself,
wean me from sin, mortify me to this world,
and make me ready for my departure hence.
Secure my by thy grace as I sail across this stormy sea.
– The Valley Of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions